Review- Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

Book Description

At once provocative and laugh-out-loud funny, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother ignited a global parenting debate with its story of one mother’s journey in strict parenting. Amy Chua argues that Western parenting tries to respect and nurture children’s individuality, while Chinese parents typically believe that arming children with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence prepares them best for the future. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua’s iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, the Chinese way–and the remarkable, sometimes heartbreaking results her choice inspires. Achingly honest and profoundly challenging, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is one of the most talked-about books of our times.

My Thoughts

I have an important life motto.

„Never discuss politics, religion, money and parenting in public.“

Those four topics will guarantee a fight. Especially parenting because everyone has a strong opinion on how kids should be raised the right way.battle

I´m a mother of two girls, ages 6 and 10. We´ve had our up´s and down´s like any other family, especially when it comes to us parent´s trying to `do the right thing`.

I consider myself an easy going type when it comes to parenting. That doesn´t mean I sit back and sip cocktails all day long and let my kids do whatever they please. What I mean is- I´m not very strict. I believe life is too short to scream and have a nervous breakdown. Kids are little people with minds that are like a blank canvas. You have the duty to help fill in the blank space with all you have to give, that includes alot of love.You have to explain a whole lot or else they won´t understand. Sure, I get loud every once in a while but I never go beyond that.

We have very few rules in my house.

  • If you break something of yours it´s not going to be replaced. So take good care of what you have.
  • Don´t hurt anyone. Not verbally nor physically. Don´t dish out what you don´t want in return. Because you won´t like the echo.
  • Bedtime by 9 p.m.

And for the last 10 years I think I´ve done a pretty darn good job at raising my kids. I´m not one of those over-scheduled mothers who drive their kids all over town all day, five times a week. My house is not spotless and doesn´t look new because, well… I´m clever enough to know that I have kids who will either by mistake spill juice, food, etc, or will accidentally color my walls with toothpaste because they weren´t watching where they were going.

It´s all about communication. A relationship can´t function without talk and neither can kids know if what they´re doing is right or wrong without sitting them down and having a chat with them. Kids aren´t idiots, even if they sometimes act like ones.

As long as there´s no blood drawn or someone is in a life threatening situation- there´s no reason to go apeshit. Shit happens. If not with the kids then shit will happen at work, with the family…. you get the picture, right?

I´m not saying I´ve done everything right. I´ve made plenty mistakes, myself. And I still got the teenager years ahead of me. Who knows how my kids will turn out by then. But for now- I´m happy and so are my kids ( I hope. Gonna have to ask them in the morning about that. Lol)

I knew, before I started this book, that it wasn´t going to make me happy. As I´ve said above- any discussion about raising kids will most likely end up in a disagreement. I know for a fact that alot of people don´t understand how my husband and I can stay calm and collected with our kids and I´m not quiet either when I see parents yelling at their children in public, or trying to discipline them in what they think is the right way infront of me ( I hate when kids get yelled at for whatever small reason. Hate, hate, hate ). But reading this book made my blood boil. I was fuming.

So outragous and unreal. How can anyone act like the author / mother acted towards her children? It was appalling and….. it left me speechless.

I hated this book. And what I hated most was how I couldn´t stop reading it. I wanted to know if anyone actually reported that mother or if she got away with the terrible shit she put her children through.

The credentials on the back said:

`Breathtakingly personal … Her tale is compelling in the same way as a good thriller`

`Blissfully funny … This book, for all it´s hilarious / hair-raising insights into how to raise terrifyingly over accomplished children, strikes me as being not so much about parenting methods as about the immigrant experience`

There were no hilarious parts in this story. None. I didn´t even smile.

And in the description it says:

`It was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones.`

And that´s exactly what this book was about. `Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother` is a biography of a woman, wife, mother on parenting and how Western civilization is practically shit at raising kids and only the Chinese are capable of bringing out the best of their offspring.

I call that a crock of shit. How dare she?

The clue of it all was- The author raised her kids á la Chinese style in a Western civilization. That´s just as terrible, if you ask me.

What this author revealed in her book was not only medieval, it was cringe-worthy.

Not at all worth anyting…not even my time. I still get pissed just thinking about her ways and how she dealt with her children.

Telling a child the picture she drew was not good was one of the worst parts of the book for me. Seriously, I have 2 kids who couldn´t be more different from one another, too. My oldest is the quiet type and my youngest is my firecracker. If I´d have told my oldest her picture wasn´t good she´d have needed life long therapy. If I´d had said the same to my youngest she´d have grown horns and chased me around the house…from the ceiling…while spitting fire. ( Aren´t kids great? :-))

Hours beyond hours of Violin and piano practice? My oldest would have fallen asleep and my youngest would have eaten the instrument out of spite. My life is too short to witness either.

Threatening a child with burning stuffed animals, not allowing playdates…. HELLO? The stuffed animals from my girls are their lifelines. They´d have to pull off some serious shit for me to want to burn their sacred bears, dolphins, etc. To be honest- Burning anything of theirs would never cross my mind in the first place. Neither would putting my child out on the cold because it didn´t want to practice an instrument or what not. It´s 2017. Surely, there are other ways to knock some sense into a child ( should any form of communication fail ).

The author wanted her children to be the best. No. You don´t quite understand…. she wanted them to be THE BEST. I want that, too, for my girls. But not at the cost of their freedom and sanity.

This book was, also, less about her children and more about self-display. I, I, I, me, me, me. That´s all I read. Lots of screaming and fighting. For fucks sake…. to read about the many fights was exhausting beyond means. I wasn´t even interested in the cultural differences because the author globalized everything and constantly compared. I, now, automatically assume all Chinese mothers are brutal, mean as shit witches and that Western mothers are lazy shits who ruin the lives of their children. That´s how this author displayed the two cultures. I´m aware that that´s not, in anyway, true… but she just went along and pointed fingers at nations and cultures. Not cool at all.

Bah. I´m not surprised I hated this book. I´m not even surprised I hate the author and want to hunt her down for the shit she thought was worth having printed.

I will not recommend this book. It´s not worth it. But I will keep it and show my girls one day how life could have been if they were born into that family.

See? Never talk about parenting. And don´t write a book about parenting either. That will only get you 1 out of 5 stars. Unless we share the same opinion. Lol.

2 thoughts on “Review- Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

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