Ridiculous Book Sex

Alas, a subject I have been dying to write about. A topic that needs further discussion.

Sex in books.

Romance readers want to have a good time while reading. They want the heartache, the sappy moments, etc. If a romance has the whole package, including good sex scenes, then it´s a total win for us readers.

Reality has taught us that sex can be loads of fun ( If done right, of course. ) and reading about it in a book that has a drop-dead-gorgeous male protagonist in it makes the head theater much more fun.

When I´m reading an erotic romance I´m literally waiting for a good sex scene with great sex. You know- the mind-blowing kind. The kind of sex in books that take a reader to a complete new level of horniness. I´m not talking about reading a porn….I´m referring to a romance / erotica novel that has sex in it. ( okay….maybe erotica novels come pretty close to porn, or not. What do I know?!)

In my opinion – reading about sex cannot be compared to pornography because… Well, characters in books have background stories and go through emotional highs and lows. Porn doesn´t. Although, my husband disagrees with me on that one. Just the other day he tried to convince me that porn movies have an actual plot. * Hangs head * Romance novels keep it real to a certain extent.

ANYWAYS…. Back to book sex:
I bow before any author who writes about sex. Period. I cannot imagine how hard it is to write about 2 people screwing and gushing their feelings for each other. Some authors have so much talent in that department. I often ask myself if those scenes came from personal experience or if it´s just a thought up scene. Imagined. Either way…..I love extremely well written, fully described, sensual, intimate sex scenes in novels. Nothing makes me more happy to know someone put a lot of thought into a scene like that. It´s actually pretty cool if you think about it.

But then there are authors who just write about sex. You know…..the questionable kind. The kind that puts huge question marks on my panties instead of making them change their color.

Now- this is a subject we all can discuss to no end because everyone has a different opinion on what good sex is. Which is fine by me. We all have different tastes, right? I´m not judging anyone if they like to read about any type of bed sports. To each is their own. But in some cases ( no matter what kind of sex I´m talking about) the sex is too much to take in. It´s also almost tacky. Tasteless. 

Authors often over-do it with their sex scenes. I´m not talking about all authors. I´m only referring to 75% of self published writers who include sex in their romances.

I consider myself still young, with being 35. I´m practically living in the best years of my life. But not even I find it sexy to read about characters who screw at every given opportunity. I can´t, by all that´s holy, visualize a sex marathon that goes on and on and on without feeling some sort of mental exhaustion after a while.

You have to keep in mind that I´m 35, not 20. I have a hard time keeping up with fictional characters these days because all they want to do is have sex. Even if I wanted to, I couldn´t have as much sex as book characters have. It´s as if these fictional characters are trying to compete with rabbits.

I know that the stories I read ( especially in the romance/erotica world) aren´t meant to be realistic. Still…..cut me some slack here- At some point, a Heroine has to start walking like John Wayne after she´s been well screwed / shagged / fucked by the sex-God from down the road. I´d definitely need a weeks worth of bed rest if were a female protagonist from any sex loaded novel.

I live in Europe…which means people over here are confronted with sex on a daily basis in a healthy way. Sex is apart of life. No need to shut up about it.   Either people like it kinky, or they don´t. No one is utterly fazed or shocked over here. So, before anyone gives me the ” Prude” stamp- keep in mind that I´m as open-minded as anyone can be. You cannot shock me with sexual acts or dirty talk, or what-not. I just do not appreciate bad / too much sex in a book. That just distracts from the actual plot. Or a terrible dialogue, for that matter.

An author can make their characters as kinky as they want them to be…I still don´t think anyone or anything should have sex 20 times a day, as some authors LOVE to make their characters do. That just…..hurts to think about.

 

And, please, * slamming hands on table, leaning forward, giving the stern look*, what is it with the Dialogue during sex scenes? Has anyone noticed how the majority of romance / erotica heros do the ultimate „ You´re so wet for me“ line?

Or, wait! I got a better one!

“Come for me, baby“  *shaking head* Am I the only one who noticed those two sentences in almost EVERY romance / erotica novel lately?

It´s not the sentences alone that are terrible. It´s the fact that those sentences come up in every damn sex scene. Let´s say characters X and Y are having sex for the first time. And all of a sudden X says: „ Oh, you´re so wet for me.“ Okay. It´s a line that isn´t original, but it´s still okay. If an author believes those words must be included, fine.

When X and Y have sex the second and third time ( in the same night, day, week ), X says the same words to Y. Uuhm… * scratching head * Does Y need a bucket because she´s so wet? Should X fetch the Tupperware just in case?

Obviously, X can´t get over the fact that Y gets wet! Y get´s utterly wet as soon as X touches her! Y is leaking.

And when X commands Y to orgasm ( or better…to come – to cum ) Y magically orgasms. Every single time! Some ladies might find that ” to orgasm ” on command is a hard task to do. But who am I kidding * wave off * I´m thinking way to realistic. What do I know, right?

Let´s rehash-

X is fascinated by the fact that Y gets so wet for him all the time that he needs to announce it.

Y can orgasm on command effortlessly because X is DA SHIT!

Let´s do a real life version of a novel sex scene ( of course, a woman has a few options on how to respond to the magic words)-

Guy: „ oh, Baby….you´re so wet for me.“

Woman: ( option nr. 1 ) „ U-huh.“

Woman: ( option nr .2 ) „ Really? How bad is it down there?“

Woman: ( option nr. 3 ) „ Yeah, I´m so wet for you.“

Or the woman might not give any answer and enjoy what´s bound to happen.

Guy: „ You want to come? Then come, NOW!“

Woman: „ Hold on…I´m almost there…“

Guy: „ No. I want you to come, NOW“

Woman: „ I can´t now. Just keep doing what you´re doing…almost there…“

Guy: ” NOW! Damn it ! N.O.W! Why can´t you orgasm on command?!“

Woman: „ Because I´m NOT  Y from those non-unique sex scenes!!!!“

Do you see my point? A dialogue like that can make whatever feelings I developed disappear into thin air. Poof! Just like that. Gone.

It´s also just as cringe-worthy when the words „moist“ and „cream pie“ are over used. There must be a way to replace those words with something more… fitting? Moist are my kitchen towels after I dry the dishes. And cream pie…. it´s a pie or cake, for heaven’s sake.

And now- while we´re at it… Let us comb through the phrases used in sex scenes. Let´s call it the sex lingo.

Ready?

  • …she tasted like honey…..“ ( I guarantee you, no one tastes like honey down south. Male and female do NOT taste like honey. It´s just a fact. If it were true then you´d be seeing a lot more people going down and having a 3 course meal with „honey“)
  • .. until I finally found her secret center…“ ( A vagina isn´t Narnja. It´s not the rabbit hole that leads to Wonderland. It´s not Barbie´s secret garden, either)
  • …his maleness, passing the petal soft folds of her womanhood…“ ( No vagina lips can be compared to petals. Touch a rose petal then touch vagina lips. It ain´t possible. But touch a turkey´s overlapping skin on his neck and then try touching a vagina. And vagina lips don´t fold. They´re bunched in your underwear. )
  • … I was drowning in her juices…“ ( How many characters are leaking? )
  • …I was blinded as I soared over the edge…“ ( I never went blind before/during/after an orgasm. Maybe I´m doing something wrong? And I never soared anywhere except for the one time when I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to turn on the bedroom light but missed the wall and switch and went „soaring“ towards the floor. That shit hurt.)

Why compare food and drinks to body fluids? Why not stick to the truth instead of misleading the innocent and giving them weird ideas? Am I thinking too realistic here?

Sometimes people don´t smell like Christmas spices when they pull down their underwear. I can already hear you say „ Eeeeew“ after reading that but it´s true. Any person who´s sexually active KNOWS the dark secrets of sex. And no author has interest in coloring out the harsh reality of event.

Most writers would rather have you believe it´s fabulous to give your partner a blowjob after being on the road for 12 hours with 3 bathroom breaks in between ( without the possibility to wash up..like, at all). There are no rose scents involved there, trust me. Yet, authors will have you believing that the sexual drive between their characters is greater than anything else. They let their characters focus on their lust and ignore the wet fox smell.

As you can probably tell by now, I´ve read some crazy stuff over the last few years and I have a strong feeling that nothing is going to change.

Can we just try to call „his sword“ a penis? Use cock, for all I care….but sword? And how about vagina instead of „where she was moist and desperate“? It´s a vagina. It´s a penis. Either you have one or the other. And maybe it´s a good time to mention that sex is fantastic but sex doesn´t always sell. 

I´m just afraid if young women ( who haven´t had sex yet) read those scenes….they´ll think it´s supposed to be like that in real life. * head against table*

Authors should try to come up with better lines. These people aren´t called artists for no reason. Authors have so many ideas and words to work with…. it should be a piece of cake to come up with something better than „You´re so wet for me.“. It´s really not funny anymore to read the same lines in 80% of all books I read.

This is not meant to discourage writers to include sex in their stories. This is meant to help spark their passion for finding better, more authentic words for their scenes.

Review- Dirty Dix (#1 Hard Love Romance) by Monica James

Book Description

I knew she was bad news when she walked into my office, but I just couldn’t help myself… 

Filthy, sexy and full of surprises, Juliet is so hot she has me on fire. I’ve met my match and I can’t help going back for more. 

Then there’s Madison… she’s sweet, funny and awakens in me a fierce need to protect her. 

But I don’t do relationships. I don’t usually do the same woman twice. 

Juliet and Madison: Two very different women have got me completely hooked. 

Who will I choose? 

I know who I should choose, but I never said I was the hero of this story, or even the good guy. And besides, who wants to be good, when it feels so good being bad? 

My tale isn’t for the faint-hearted. If you’re game, strap yourself in and expect the unexpected. But don’t say I didn’t warn you… 

My Thoughts

Monica James is my GO – TO author. This woman has her writing down to a T. It all started out when I read her very first novel `I Surrender` a few years back. Now, many published books later, I´m sitting here and feeling as happy as any reader could feel.

What can I say about this book?

`Dirty Dix` ( Book #1 in the Hard Love Romance ) is a fun, exciting and intriguing read that´ll put you on a ride you´ll never forget. In fact, this story is so addictive it makes it´s readers long for more.Dirty dix

The story is brilliant. Easy going and playful at first and then everything slowly becomes complicated.

New Yorks top psychiatrist, Dr. Dix Mathews, drowns in two women who are both toxic to his own health.

Both women couldn´t be more opposite from one another and Dr. Dix finds himself in a position he shouldn´t have been in the first place.

What to do, what to do? Dr. Dix is screwed one way or another. Or is he?

This book  reminds me of a time when I dated 2 guys at the same time. I was 16 back then and everything went well before both were standing in my mom´s livingroom. The one guy had a bouquet in his hands and the other wore a confused look on his face. I decided to bail. Crawl my way out of the house through my bedroom window and make an epic escape. But I got caught by my mom outside ( I was a terrible teenager).

I wish Dix had a window to make a grande escape but he wasn´t so fortunate ( neither was I, to be honest. I had to deal with both and ended up alone until I dated my husband 3 years later. What a miserable time!).

ANYWAYS…. Dix.

I loved Dix. His character was something special. A doc who helped others for a living got caught up in his own little personal hell. What´s not to love? Reading his parts brought so much satisfaction. The poor bastard struggled. He was a professional with a broken heart who ignored the rules. And with every step that beautiful man took he unintentionally dug his own grave deeper and deeper. He was fighting an emotional war with his desires, his own personal addiction.

Dix and Juliet were a match made in sex heaven. Dix and Madison were a match made in relationship heaven.

Who will he pick? Both? Neither? Will anyone find some sort of happiness in this book? You´ll have to find that one out for yourself.

All I can tell you is that this story was so good I couldn´t put it down. And the cliffhanger ending… I saw it coming. I truly did. I just hoped it wouldn´t happen. But it did and now I´m left with the awkward feeling of not knowing what´ll happen next until I can get my greedy claws on book #2, `Wicked Dix`.

An enticing, sexy and hot read!

The Cover – 4 stars ( I´m not such a fan of a buffed torso on a book cover but I am a fan of a white shirt and black tie. There´s something sexy about that. And the colors are great.)

The Story – 5 stars ( Way cool. Brings back so many ugly but now funny memories.)

The Characters – 5 stars ( Dix, Madison, Juliet, Finch and Hunter… What a great lot!)

My emotional state after finishing this read – Excited. I just can´t wait to find out what happens next!

I´m giving `Dirty Dix` ( Book #1 Hard Love Romance) by Monica James 5 out of 5 stars.

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To purchase this book  click here

Review For New Branding Design

To brand or not to brand.

Ever since I started blogging I wanted to make a name for myself. The internet is swamped with names and brands and logos. Everywhere you look, businesses (big and small) have symbols that represent their company or their cause. I wanted that. My only problem was – Who to contact?

I spent countless hours on the internet, searching for someone who could make my dream come true. And while I found a ton of great designers who had incredible portfolios…. I didn´t feel they were able to deliver.

What I truly needed was a mind reader. Or someone who would take one look at my social media profiles and say „Yupp. I´ll whip something up.“ I know, that´s not really possible, but I would have preferred that instead of talking to people who don´t know me and my weird, quirky, complicated ways.

It never dawned on me to ask the one person who has been in my Facebook friends list for the last few years.

I stalked her. Snooped on her website and her Facebook timeline. I loved what I saw. I adored her work and I wanted exactly what she had to offer.

Trust me when I say I´m not an easy person to work with. When someone asks me a simple question like „What´s your favorite color?“ then all hell breaks loose in my head. How can I pick a color when the world is filled with hundreds of beautiful shades of everything, right?

Despite my odd self I decided to just go for it. To contact the mastermind that runs Cover Me Darling and see if that woman was able to read minds.

Well, she wasn´t able to read my mind. She didn´t need to. A few simple questions and a fill-in-form was all it took to create what I had in mind. Here´s the info I gave her to work with:

  • I like cool colors ( bold to pastel….as long as it stays in that section of the color wheel)
  • I adore everything from the Art Nouveau era.
  • I believe in „less is more“.
  • I´m not the girly girl type but I do like a feminine touch.

I can´t imagine that description could be any designers dream come true. For me – that screams nightmare.

I sat back, thinking it would take at least a good month to get my branding done.

In less than 2 days (!!!) I was presented with a design. I don´t know how the designer did it but the woman created what I believed was impossible.

SignatureLogo

SecondaryLogo

The font, the elements, the color scheme…. The image as a whole represents who I am and what I stand for. The design is simple and unique. It´s feminine and beautiful. It stands out. I couldn´t have found a better designer.

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Marisa Shor from Cover Me Darling embodies professionalism with a personal touch. 

I felt welcomed. I felt understood. I felt like my thoughts and ideas were in good hands. 

Would I go back for another design?

I would. Over and over again. This designer has mad skills. Her ability to take what little info I gave her and create something awesome is truly a reason to go back for more designs. 

Would I recommend Cover Me Darling?

Yes. Whatever is needed regarding designs…Cover Me Darling is the place to go to.

Stalk The Designer:

Homepage  Facebook   Twitter  Instagram  cover me darling

Review- Thicker Than Blood (#1) by Madeline Sheehan & Claire C. Riley

Book Description

A true friendship never dies. 

Leisel and Evelyn lost everything. Husbands. Families. Friends. Lives that made sense. All they had left was each other, and a friendship that could withstand anything…

Even an apocalypse.

Until one fateful night, the marginal safety they’d come to rely on comes to a vicious and brutal end. With the help of Alex & Jami, both unlikely allies, Leisel and Evelyn are able to escape their shattered sanctuary only to find themselves face-to-face with a much altered, much crueler life where they have to find the way—and the will—to stay alive in a world they no longer recognize.

Traveling across a broken and infection-ridden country; the road-weary group are pitted against endless violence, improbable circumstances, and the ultimate loss.
Everything comes at a price—especially safety, the cost of which could very well strip them of the one thing they’ve tried so hard to cling to: their humanity.

Yet along with all the trials they’re forced to endure, there’s also hope in the form of love. Having loved Leisel from afar, Alex attempts to put the pieces of her fractured heart back together.

But in such a savage world, is there room for love?

In a place of nightmares-made-reality, where the living should be feared far more than the dead, an unbreakable friendship and a love amongst all odds can mean the difference between life and death.

There are friends…

And then there are Leisel and Evelyn.

My Thoughts

It´s super dangerous for my wallet when I visit a book signing. Once I´m in a room packed with awesome authors then there´s no stopping me ( Don´t judge. It´s an illness ). Within an hour I´m broke, yet, at the same time I´m richer than anyone I know.

That´s how I came upon this little treasure. The RARE ´17 Berlin book signing was my undoing.

`Thicker Than Blood` by authors Madeline Sheehan & Claire C. Riley belonged to the many books I purchased that day. I walked up to the author´s table and asked what she would recommend and VOILA!Thicker than blood

I´m always looking for something new in the book universe. Something a topic that hasn´t been told to death over the last 5 years. I want something that will grab my attention. I need a story that´ll do all kinds of things to my emotional household. I need excitement. I need something that´ll blow my mind.

And right now I need to give these authors a high five for writing such an amazing story.

I was hooked the moment I began reading and I felt like someone hit me with a frying pan when I finished the story.

Perfect! That´s exactly what I´m looking for in a book!

So, what are we dealing with in `Thicker Than Blood` ?

  • a zombie apocalypse

  • a friendship like no other

  • survival

And with that we automatically deal with the whole pallet of emotions. And boy, did I go through some nasty up´s and down´s.

The authors created a new world in such a brilliant way and made me suffer along with their characters until the very last page.

The author´s created a world that felt oddly real.

I´ve watched zombie movies / shows and I´ve read my fair share of zombie books before. They´re amusing and entertaining but they hardly feel realistic. Yet, I never ended up sitting on my sofa, thinking about the „what if´s“ like I did after reading this book. There came a point where I had to remind myself that this was just a work of fiction. A brilliantly written, thought-up piece of madness that stunned me.

And the fact that this isn´t a full blown sappy romance just fills my heart with joy. Of course, there´s a bit of lovey-dovey throughout the story…. but nothing you´d imagine. This is a horror / apocalyptic novel with a focus on friendship and survival and a pinch of romance. And the best part- You cannot relate to the characters because no one knows how they´d react in the same situation.

Would I recommend this book?

I most certainly would. Over and over again.

Would I re-read this book?

You can bet your ass I would. But, first, I´m going to read `Beneath Blood and Bone`(#2) before I do anything else. 

The Cover – 5 stars ( The image, the lighting, the blood…. I like it alot. Something I can look at all night long. A total catchy book cover.)

The Story – 5 stars ( When authors create worlds and are good at it then it´s already a winner.)

The Characters – 4 stars ( Eve and Leisel aren´t the best characters ever but their friendship is truly something special. )

My emotional state after finishing this read Pooped beyond means. Mentally and physically preparing for a possible zombie apocalypse and. I might even text my bestie so she can get ready as well.

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I´m giving `Thicker Than Blood` by Madeline Sheehan & Claire C. Riley 4 out of 5 stars.

This book can be purchased over at Amazon.com 

Instagram: Morgana´s Book Box Feature

Review- RARE ´17 Berlin Book Signing Event

There are different types of book signing events. There are the ones we all know from back in the days, where authors had a table at a bookstore and signed tons of books for their fans.(Good thing  is – those signings still exist. They´re rare…but every now and again published authors pop into a bookstore and do a signing. * YAY *)

In this Era, book signing events have become more interesting, to say the least. Due to the massive amount of self-publishers ( and their wildly growing fan-bases ) alot of author events have turned into something bizarre ( and that´s putting it mildly ).

Book signings are said to be a great way to meet your favorite author ( maybe even hold a chitchat with them for 2 minutes ) and get your books, kindle covers, boobs and scrapbooks signed. Some signing events also offer full weekends of drinks, parties, meet & greets, and other fun stuff for readers and bloggers. Which is like- the ultimate thing for any book nerd!

Of course, those events aren´t for free. The prices for tickets can be from $10 – $400 , depending on which signing event a visitor decides to go to. In my opinion… I´d rather buy books worth 400 smackers than go to an event that costs that much, plus paying for a hotel room and traveling has to be taken under consideration, too- Unless you´re up for snoozing in your car. BUT…I was told that those highly expensive events were totally worth the money ( I shall never find out ).

I´ve been to quite a few book signings in my life but none have left such impressions as the last 2 I´ve visited. That is why I´ll focus on the last 2 bigger book signing events, here, and I´ll compare them.

I´m generally a happy person. I love to laugh and all that. And I´m also ALWAYS under alot of stress ( work, family, household, bla bla bla). When I´m at a signing I like to think I´m treating myself. Taking a break from being a highly responsible adult and having some Morgana-time without my babies actually helps me recharge enegery. I don´t need a 2 week vacation away from the family. A day or even a few hours can also work wonders.

But when I´m surrounded by madness it´s hard to think I´m treating myself in any way. It´s also impossible to enjoy my Morgana-time away from the family when I´m in a room surrounded by nearly 500 women who run around like headless chicks ( who also sporadically scream from the top of their lungs from excitement) That´s not book heaven. It´s definitely not my idea of having a good time.

And that´s exactly what happened at my first romance book event a few years back in London. Crazed women rushing from author table to author table in hopes of spending endless minutes with their favorite authors. It felt like I was in the Mean Girls movie with 100 Regina George clones.

After that unholy event I swore to never attend a romance book signing event ever again. I valued my sanity far too much to deal with another day of chaotic book women.

Years have passed and the nightmare from the past event eventually faded until I spotted an ad for another romance author event. RARE ´17 Berlin.Rare

Berlin? My heart melted. There was a romance book signing in the country I live in! I didn´t have to leave the country to visit a book signing and I could get a hotel room and I could….. Then it hit me. No. I swore I´d never put myself through another round of disappointment. But the author lineup for the RARE ´17 Berlin event was AWESOME! There was no way I could stay away.

After a week of back and forth I decided to give romance book signings another try. Why not, right? It´s been a few years since the last one. Readers / fans change. ( or, I hoped they did ). I wasn´t 100% convinced but I kept thinking happy thoughts. Everything was going to be alright.

After all- who would want to miss out on meeting Jodi Ellen Malpas, Monica James, Lesley Jones, Kandi Steiner, etc, etc? No me.

After a gruesome 5 hour drive from Frankfurt a.M. To Berlin I finally arrived. My hair looked like squirrels tried to braid it ( driving with an open window cannot be recommended) but I didn´t care. I was on a book mission, not trying to win a beauty contest. As long as no one noticed the chocolate stains in the crotch area I was good to go and halfway presentable. ( I do not recommend eating a chocolate croissant while driving on the Autobahn, either )

Needless to say- I arrived looking like a crazed forest witch, ready to spend time and money.

3 hours, 10 signed books and 6000 spoken words later I reached my limit and decided it was time to go home ( because I totally forgot to book a hotel room ). I wanted to spend some quality time with my newest reads!

And guess what? My fear was…gone. I was confronted with peaceful, nice people. The authors were wonderful. Everyone was smiling, chatting and just having a good time. I was shocked beyond belief! Hof was this possible? The last book signing event was a nightmare. Rare ´17 wasn´t. RARE ´17 Berlin was civilized, organized and just a great place to be.

Was I happy? Definitely. The event was a total success for me. Would I visit another RARE book signing?

Yes. I would.

Ticket price 36.87 Euros

Location – Hotel Estrel in Berlin

Author count – Roughly around 60 ( give or take)

Atmosphere-  Friendly

The authors- The ones I was able to meet were such sweethearts.

My biggest regret- Forgetting my hair brush at home. Forgetting to take pics with all the authors I talked to.

My mood from beginning to end-  Excited to happily exhausted.

All in all a wonderful event filled with awesomeness! Until next time, RARE!

And now – let´s take a look at what the forest witch looked like with the awesome authors! Have fun!

Event Monica

Left: Monica James. Author of the `I Surrender` , `Something Like Normal` & the `Hard Love Romance` books. Make sure to stalk her on Social Media!

Event Ashley

 

Right: Katie Ashley. Author of the `Proposition` & `Runaway Train` books.

 

Event Halle

Right: Karina Halle. Author of `The Pact` and `Dirty Angels`books.

 

Event steiner

Left: Kandi Steiner. Author of `Weightless` & `A Love Letter To Whiskey`.

 

Event Malpas

Right: Jodi Ellen Malpas. Author of the `This Man`& `One Night`books.

 

Review- Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Book Description

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy’s diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer?

My Thoughts

You know it´s a sad day when a book lover thinks the movie was better than the book.
I think this book and I didn´t have a great start to begin with. 
It all started when a good friend of mine gifted me `Gone Girl` by Gillian Flynn as a Christmas present. That alone is a tricky thing to do because I think gifting books is nice, but it gives me the chills. Especially when the person who gifts me a book says „ The lady at the bookstore said you might like it.“ If my friend doesn´t know what I like…then how would a stranger know what I like? * shaking head* To my friends credit…he´s a guy. I forgave him and thought the idea was still cute ( and still creepy).

It´s hard to say if I just didn´t enjoy this book or if I hated it. I´m a bit torn about the whole thing. First…it took me ages to get into the story. The first half of the book was slow and I found myself putting this book down more often than I would have wanted. The second half was a total clusterfuck. I was just as „ emotionally bent“ as the characters were ( God, that was mentioned so often in this book that I now dislike that term ).

Did I like the mystery in this book? No. Did I like the characters? Not really. Why?

I don´t know if it was the characters or their story in general… but I couldn´t understand this book. There was nothing I could relate to at all. There were some things that were mentioned where I understood Amy, but other than that….I disliked her and thought she was just a bored psycho. Nick, Amy´s husband, did nothing for me, either. I couldn´t sympathize with him at all. I didn´t see him as the good or bad guy. He was twisted in his own special way.

My biggest concern was: If a couple is happy on the outside, but can´t stand each other within their own four walls….then why not split up? Happens everyday….the characters should have tried it out.

As for the story…..Well, Amy disappears on their 5th anniversary into thin air and ….the main suspect becomes Nick. Did he really kill Amy or did Amy, the UBER PSYCHO/ WEIRDO / bored housewife ( who thought it would be funny to cause a shitstorm) want attention?

I have no clue because now I´m confused, but only because I don´t know why this story would be a book of the year.

The dual POV`s ( Amy´s POV came more from the diaries she wrote before ) confused me and when I finally „ got it“ I didn´t like it.

The end was…..dull. I expected a huge firework ending to make up for the crappy story. That did not happen. After the last page I couldn´t believe I spent my time reading this book.

The only thing I really liked was the writing style. But that didn´t make up for the rest.

On a positive note- I did like the movie a tad bit better. I thought Ben Affleck nailed Nick 🙂 

`Gone Girl` is a typical love or hate book. You´ll either think it´s brilliant or you´ll be as aggravated as I am.

The Cover- 4 stars ( I like the cover alot.)

The Story – 2 stars ( what a royal clusterfuck.)

The Characters- 2 stars ( Seriously, both deserved each other. Such nut-jobs)

My emotional state after finishing this read- I´m just going to repeat my statement above about it being a sad day when a book lover thinks the movie was better. That should sum it up.

I´m giving `Gone Girl` by Gillian Flynn 2 out of 5 stars.

 

 

Review- Truly, Madly, Deadly by Hannah Jayne

 

Book Description

They Said It Was An Accident…

Sawyer Dodd is a star athlete, a straight-A student, and the envy of every other girl who wants to date Kevin Anderson. When Kevin dies in a tragic car crash, Sawyer is stunned. Then she opens her locker to find a note:

You’re welcome.

Someone saw what he did to her. Someone knows that Sawyer and Kevin weren’t the perfect couple they seemed to be. And that someone—a killer—is now shadowing Sawyer’s every move..

My Thoughts

„ They say it was an accident.“

I SAY- this story can be described as the same. Someone accidentally shoved this book in the mystery genre * shaking head*.

I bought this book mainly because of the cover alone. The description was a mega bonus because I do love myself a mystery thriller.

How this book was supposed to be a mystery/ thriller is beyond me. This story was over the top predictable and that was, for me, a turn off. When you can forsee what will happen then that hardly qualifies as a mystery. A reader wants to be kept in the dark. The story has to have some mysterious aspect or else there´s no surprise, especially no thrill.

I might as well keep this review short and just say that I was fully disappointed when I finished `Truly Madly Deadly`. I expected to be scared shitless and sitting on the edge of my sofa, chewing on my fingernails. I expected to be engaged with the characters and feel what they were going through. I expected darkness and all that stuff. That didn´t happen. There were a few ( and by few I mean like, 1 or 2) scenes that were spooky but not scary enough to make me want to hide under my bed covers with all the lights on in the house.

The characters were transparent. The story was flat. The writing didn´t do anything special for me, either. The only huge positive regarding this story was that it was a super quick read.

For a Young Adult/Mystery novel not the worst I´ve read….but also far from fabulous. Maybe I set my hopes up too high for this one… who knows.

What I do know is that I will not reread Truly, Madly, Deadly. Not my cup of tea. I wouldn´t even recommend this read.

The Cover- 4 stars ( I really liked the mysterious side of the cover. It grabbed my attention)

The Story- 2 stars (I´m sad to say that this was a waste of my time. I need something with more substance. Don´t get too excited when you read the part where the Heroine, Sawyer, receives a message in an envelope about her boyfriends accident with a note attached to it that only has „ You´re welcome“ written on it. THAT is the only excitement you´ll be getting out of the story. The rest is just killing time. )

The Characters- 2 stars ( Let´s not go there.)

My emotional state after finishing this read– Disappointed.

I´m giving `Truly, Madly, Deadly` by Hannah Jayne, 2 out of 5 stars.

If you still want to go against my non recommendation and read this book then click here and be prepared.